I have walked with grief since I was in the womb. A year before I arrived, my sister was stillborn and her spirit started to connect with me in my early 20’s when I started to open myself up spiritually. Becoming curious to what existed beyond this realm and from there she invited me in.

The journey that led me here…

Through extensive research and after praying long and hard for over a year, I found a beautifully aligned training in Guatemala. I started to question the narrative and asked why Doula’s (and all birth-workers) are not being trained to assist and support mothers and families that will endure any stage of peri-natal loss? (ectopic pregnancies, miscarriages, stillbirths)

Who supports these mothers? those babies? their bodies? Who is telling them they will still be postpartum and giving them the nourishment they deserve without discarding their loss telling them to just “try again”?

The training I attended listened through my aching, passionate heart and decided to add an entire day of training around supporting pregnancy loss into their curriculum and I thought, “what a beautiful start” …

My training traversed through many landscapes,

Ranging from women’s anatomy, the prenatal journey, birth preparation, how to tend and nourish a family in those first 40 sacred days postpartum, supporting pregnancy loss and the layers of grief that follow, herbal preparation and support (formulas, teas, broths, steams, smudges, sitz baths, placenta encapsulation & tincture too. We also traversed into creating ritual and ceremonial experiences for birthing families, explored the ancient mayan abdominal massage, faja wrapping and steeping the magic that is creating a culture of birth keeping that supports, protects and bares witness to it all.

As life’s spiral continued, grief reminded me how it greatly coexists with life. In the span of three years, I watched my husband lose both of his parents to demanding illnesses and four months later my father’s battle with addiction came to an end. The summer following the year we got married, we were gifted with the blessing of carrying life in my womb, our son, Luca.

Several months later, I gave birth to death.

Abandoned by those who were supposed to be there…I witnessed my own birth team fall short of where the general standard should fall. I birthed alone, scared and traumatized at home with my husband. It was through this initiation into motherhood. A childless postpartum that no one told me existed. An aching body, and empty womb, yet a deep passion and eager hands, ready to carry the torch and change the narrative moving forward

that has landed me here today.

It was there in Guatemala, in the mountains and lakeside of Tzununá, mayan elders led the way. Herbalism rang through our fingertips. Birthworkers from all over the world, gathered to learn, share and educate the ancient practices of weaving educational learning, ritual, hands-on practice, and embodied knowing Into our path, of guardians of the birth portal.

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